I think I decided that the Universe put my parts together all wrong. Perhaps the instruction manual was in a foreign language or perhaps the font size was too small to bother with, but either way, wires are crossed. Here’s my thinking.
My HEAD wants to be a lean, mean badass machine and for some frustrating reason, it expects to see said machine every time I look in the mirror. My BODY, on the other hand, wants to be soft and round and not sweaty but definitely full. Preferably full of the stuff that gets made in laboratories rather than the stuff that comes from the dirt. Perhaps you can understand why it is like Groundhog Day three times a day because what my head sees is me.
I’m not sure that writing about this mess will help, but it can’t hurt. I’m sure that somewhere I can get activity points for typing, can’t I? I mean it must require at least some energy to do all of this button pressing.
Positive: I ran a 5k on Saturday with my kids and husband and while I have not run more than a mile in…oh…since last year’s Turkey Trot…my time of 35 minutes is nothing to be ashamed of. Not only was not dying on the hill one of the most wonderful surprises I’ve had in ages, it reminded me that my body, soft and round as it is at this moment, can do some pretty freakin amazing stuff. And now I want to do more. ‘Course it’s winter and running outside when I’m fat, slow AND cold is unlikely, but I’m going to try.
Negative: I ate doughnuts after the run. Many, many doughnuts. Isn’t that gross? They were so good and I had not had a doughnut in…I don’t know when…and while I enjoyed them and ate them consciously, it was the alarm bell I needed to get control of my ship before I’m in the hospital the day after Christmas.
So, I’m back. This time taking the super-sensible route of trying to lose fat and inches over the Holidays. Yay me. I say that only half-jokingly. What better time than now?