Happy 2015 To You

Yesterday on Twitter I saw a link to a story about a food critic who is facing some weight challenges.

I aspire to be more adept in the kitchen and I decided to embrace food (cooking it, eating it, etc.) instead of pretending it doesn’t exist just because we don’t get on very well.  With this in mind, I love following Eater and Chow and Food52 and a long list of food-blogging sites.

So, this food critic was discussing how people react to her job by saying, “…wow I wish I had your job!…”  And she said she loves her job, always good to hear, but there is a terrible dark side which is the calorie issue and her discussion of how she is making it all work is fascinating.

The part that resonated the most with me was the exercise part.  She is finding means of exercise that she can stick with.  This means varieties that are not only interesting to her, but also pleasant and that satisfy her.  In the past my efforts at exercise seemed hyper focused on meeting that sweet spot of efficiency.  The biggest bang for my exercise buck. And where am I now?  Not interval training.  Not lifting weights.  Not running very far.

I noticed that I actually like exercising if it is on my terms.  When I report to the gym or head out for a run with a definite goal in mind, it feels like a job and I hate it.  I think there is some merit to having a plan before entering the gym, but for me, getting to the gym is the plan.  Once I’m there, I kind of like looking around at what equipment is available and whether or not the “toys” (weights, straps, balls, etc.) appeal to me.  I like seeking out a good sweat and then heading back to my car feeling satisfied with myself.

I’m sort of doing the same with food.  I’m trying to eat when I’m hungry.  That’s my plan.  What I eat when I am hungry depends on what looks/sounds good to me at that moment and when I’m full, I want to stop.

This kind of “plan” feels the best, but it does require discipline to be successful.  I have to actually get to the gym or outside and I have to actually be hungry before I put something in my mouth.  Honestly, these two goals are so much more realistic than others I’ve set.  I suppose it is a resolution of sorts – something new to try – and I’m feeling happy about it at the moment.

PS – only gained back 3 of the 5 pounds I lost my first weeks on WW.  Not great, but not terrible and I’ve so far not eaten my way through 2015 like I did in December.

Don’t Mind Me

I’m just over here, eating like the world is ending tomorrow.  Of course, I ate like it was going to end the day before that and also the day before that.

Double dang it, this mindful eating bullshit is hard.

But we knew that, right?

If it was easy, I’d be posting risque shots of my hip bones bulging from my bikini bottoms and that awesome thigh gap whilst I sip a cocktail on the beach in Bora Bora.

So…me and my muu muu will just waddle ourselves over to the salad bar and catch up with you later.

Been There, Done It, Doing it Again

I re-joined the gym.

A few months ago when I was wide open to the Universe to help me out of a prolonged funk, I had two epiphanies.  First, I declared that I detest dark chocolate and I don’t care how good for me it is, I refuse to eat another pip.  Ever.  Second, unless I was going to wet myself or there was some kind of emergency, no one should expect to see me out of bed in the morning before 6:00 am.  As soon as I made those declarations, I felt like a new woman.

The dark chocolate thing is neither here nor there, but the 6:00 reveille is.  I used to go to the gym at 4:45 so that I could arrive at 5, sweat it out and be home by 6 when I needed to get the men up and out of the house.  Yeah, no.  I was miserable and could not sustain that schedule.  Obvs.

This time around I’m hoping to use the gym when one or the other kid has a sports practice during the week or when I have an urge to sweat on the weekends.

I tried Yoga and really liked it, but not enough to stick with it.  The only thing I keep coming back to is running.  It give me feelings like nothing else has and I’d like to try to run at least a little bit every chance I get.

I have a little workout plan in mind to help me while I practice eating only when I’m hungry. I hope that setting very, very reasonable goals that I can find a health and fitness plan to hang on to for as long as I am mobile.

Since I joined in December it doesn’t count as a New Year’s Resolution, does it?

Cookie Dough Revisited

Having had yet a second encounter with a bowl of delicious gross cookie batter, and having a WW weigh in the following day, I’d like to clarify something.

You might argue that eating cookie batter or dough is gross and you’d probably be right, but this isn’t about preference and I don’t disagree.  This is about hunger and control, two tres important things that I completely forgot about ignored when I face planted into the bowl.  Twice.

I’ve been an over-eater, an under-eater, a vegetarian, an Adkins, a Paleo Primal whole foodie, a Weight Watcher and…I think that’s all.  I just want to be Megan Who Eats When She’s Hungry.

That super-cool badass chick eats whatever the heck she wants.  When she’s hungry.  And, because she’s the Ittest It Girl there is, she stops eating when she’s not hungry any more.

So, I’m not at all bent out of shape that I ate the cookie dough.  I loved it.  I’d like to eat it again.  But I wasn’t hungry and I didn’t stop.

While I blew my Points for the WW week by like 10, between some fattier meat and cookie dough binges, I expected to add a couple of pounds from my gluttony, but I didn’t.  According my trusty scale, I packed on about 8 ounces.  While I feel better about my body (starting to feel less chubby), I expected the gained weight to be a bit greater.

Damn Cookies

Ordinarily

Since I’ve been following WWOL

In a perfect world

If it weren’t for the

I’ve eaten more than anyone’s fair share of cookie batter the past two nights.

Eff the cookies, you know?  But that batter…that raw egg sugary disgusting beige mass in the bowl?  Now that stuff…is AMAZEBALLS poison.

Hashtag: Decline the next cookie exchange invitation.

Hashtag: I know better but a gym membership is looking mighty fine this week.

Going…going…

I had my second WW weigh-in day.  After the scale confusion I think I suffered at the beginning of all of this, I’m down a whopping 5 pounds.  Which is way more important than it looks.  I’m getting some confidence back and keeping a good record of my use of food for the future.

Numbers-wise, I’d like to see another 15-20 pounds disappear, but more importantly, I have a pair of pants – jeans actually – that when I put them on will fit in a certain kind of way and then I will know I’m where I want to be.  Once I get there, the real work begins.  Finding that sweet spot of not eating too much, but eating a bit more than I had been so as to stop the weight loss.  I have no idea how that will go, but I’m really paying attention.

Maybe I will dig out the pink shorts and when (see?  I said when!) I put them on and could walk out in public, then I’ll know I’m where I want to be.  It’s kind of funny…  Right this minute I can’t even imagine being fit or confident enough to ever put them on again.

But that would be just the coolest thing ever.

Body Beautiful

Over the weekend the kids and I ran a Jingle Bell 5k in downtown DC.  It was magical.  5,000 people turned out in every Christmas-themed costume imaginable – not just Christmas I should point out – I saw a few dreidles too.  We had bells on our shoes and there was Christmas music pumping from the speakers.  I wore a tutu.  It was so much fun and the shirt is a keeper.

After runners assemble at the start there is a lot of standing around and waiting.  As I stood self-consciously waiting to be called out as an impostor among real runners, I looked around me and appreciated all the diversity.  Kids.  Strollers.  Dogs.  Young adults, older adults.  Hard-core runners and teams of reindeer who were there for a good time and not a personal record.

As you might guess, I caught myself admiring the long, lean lycra’d legs, wishing for a moment that I was running in a muu muu so the “real” runners couldn’t see my pins.  34 minutes later, I expressed gratitude for my pins that helped me run – albeit slowly – the whole race.  It was the first time I’ve done that in a few years.  Just a gentle reminder that long and lean or short and substantial, my beautiful body works just as well as anybody else’s.